Ep43 The Masculine-Feminine Paradox: Why 'Having It All' Feels Like Having Nothing

Jason Croft 0:00

Especially for the doers out there, way into their masculine energy. Okay, tell me what to do to fix this.

Patricia Lindner 0:06

The approach that I take people through is not we do the work, it is making them so much fall in love with who they really are.

Jason Croft 0:17

What if the key to unlocking your full potential isn't about adding more, but revealing what's already there in each episode of magnificence, host Patricia Lindner guides you to reveal your natural brilliance, remove what's been stopping you and reconnect to your authentic power. Join us as we explore how to access the magnificence that lives within us all.

Patricia Lindner 0:42

Hello and welcome to another amazing episode of magnificence today. Jason Croft and I are going to speak about this idea of masculine and feminine and what that is all about. Because you might have heard about that, and we are really making sure that you figure out why this matters for you. I am so excited to have this conversation with Jason, and I hope that you get so much out of our conversation today. Hello, Jason. I mentioned you several times already. I am delighted that you are with me again.

Jason Croft 1:27

Oh, glad to be here this. This will be fun and, and I, I'm excited for this topic too, because on the on the surface, people like, oh, masculine film, yeah, I know what that means, but, but when we're talking at this energetic level, there's so much nuance to it, and it's so important to get this right beyond the sort of surface level that I think the normal day to day conversation is around. When it comes to masculine feminine, there's so much deeper here and the ramifications of either embracing or rejecting either side are very far reaching.

Patricia Lindner 2:09

Yeah, absolutely, and I love that. He said that is going much deeper than what people might think that is because I had a conversation with a man talking about his feminine side, and he was like, What do I have a feminine aspect in myself? And the audience might be aware of that. But no matter if you are a man or if you are a woman, the masculine and the feminine. They are both part of you, more or less. And I love this thought or this approach to the whole topic, because it is not just a conversation about the outer appearance. Oh, she looks feminine where, ah, this is a masculine man. That's not what we are going to cover in this episode, Jason. So I think that is a great start to really dive into what that means feminine and masculine aspects and how to really embody both of them, because especially for not just for women, but especially for women, being very much in the masculine leads to not so welcome states like burnout, stressed, unfulfilled, overworked, depressed, and maybe even anxious.

Jason Croft 3:46

Yeah, and that's so before we get too far down that let's, let's break down for folks, what we're talking about when we're using these terms masculine and feminine, it's, there's almost needs to be different phrasing for folks even working in this space so much just because both of those words are so weighted in connotation, but break down for us what we're talking about when we're saying masculine energy and when we're Saying feminine energy,

Patricia Lindner 4:18

yeah, let's unbox the masculine energy. So what is what does that mean? Masculine is the typically doer, someone who is doing things, someone who is having control and logic, control over things. So there is a lot about the left brain that has to do with the masculine side, the go getter is very much in the masculine left brain, the strategic analytic brain, and moves forward on this like in this linear way, there is a lot of logic involved. Involved. There is a lot of strategy involved. I said that analyzing situations using the brain, using what you know about a situation, thinking a lot, and then on the other side, let's unbox the feminine part. The feminine energy is all about being, don't we need that just be, just being, not just doing, but being. It's about being and receiving. There is a lot of creative energy in the feminine side, and that could be both for men and women, it's trusting the intuition and surrendering to a situation. What else it's? It's, it's a side of being in touch with the emotions feeling. So I hope that I painted that picture well, and being either too much in the masculine or too much in the feminine causes an imbalance. And so what we are about to speak is, yeah, how to approach that, and how to figure out what to do if there is an imbalance and how that shows up.

Jason Croft 6:30

Yeah, absolutely, because that's the big point to take away for the audience here, is that we men and women both. We need both. So it's this is such an important energy and and we'll all sort of, whether it's born this way, conditioning will fall into, you know, a predominantly this side versus that side. I know I've done work in the past with, uh, coaches and good, good friend of mine, Bodhi, you know, he I'm been too much in the, in the feminine energy, you know, not from again, not how I show up, you know, or anything like that. Or, you know, from a, you know, male, female side of things. But that, that feminine energy of creativity, idea generation, conversation, connection, listening like I am. I got that down right where I've been lacking is a little bit of the concreteness, the drive that take this action right now, let's go. And that's the that's that dance, you know? I've got to bring some more of that into my life to get things done right, and then balance that with, Oh, great. I can connect, or I can create this new thing and do that. But now, okay, let's take action. So I love that definition that you gave. How is this showing up? Especially, you know, you work with with women a lot who are dealing with the too much masculine energy. And again, it's not from, you know, they may, you know, show up feeling, you know, seeing, seeming very feminine, but just in their action and in their what they've feel like they've had to do. How is that showing up for them? First

Patricia Lindner 8:34

of all, I love that you gave this example of yourself. I need to just put that before I talk about your question and I answer your question, because everyone can see that you you are someone who looks masculine, so you embody the masculine, but you talk about, oh, I was so much in my feminine. And so I love that, because everyone can see, ah, he's not showing up in this feminine way, but he acted in masculine and feminine, excuse me, in feminine principles. And needed to add more of this masculine I love that you took yourself as the example. Thank you so much. That is great, and vice versa, because you talked about women that I work with, and most of the time I work with women who are really in this high achieving mode, who really had a lot of success, who earned those credentials, and they are so everyone I work With is highly intelligent. They have it all. You just can see that you can have very intelligent conversations. You can see what they achieve. They are high earners, oftentimes really high earners. And then they feel like this is sort of a facade I try to put. It in easy words, which brings me to something really beautiful, that's like a facade, a container. And when they work with me, or start working with me, it feels like the inside is so empty. That's like just there is this, this container, and they feel disconnected from something. There is a big lack of something, and they can't even tell me what that is. There is this longing, this craving for something. They feel stressed out. They suffer from sleeplessness. They think they need to add more and learn more, because they they feel this emptiness. They want to fill it up and maybe add more. And then, and this is the beautiful part, then we discover it's so amazing because these women, they are so afraid of letting go and of taking a break, and of being in this being mode, because they feel like, oh, then everything falls apart, but showing them that their masculine achiever container. And I just feel that is really like this container is such a wonderful container for so much of the feminine energy. It is like the the framework they need, the more they are in their masculine the more they can really get in touch with all those feminine aspects, and so they can even achieve more, but they can do that in this fulfilled, calm, relaxed and healthy way. I hope I put that in, or I told that in a way that is good to understand, great to understand.

Jason Croft:12:09

Yeah, and I think that's a very common aspect for men and women, especially women I you know, I've seen it firsthand in my life, who have that strength, and they feel like they have to take on more and more and more because the other isn't getting taken care of, right? It's not getting handled so I'm gonna, I'm gonna handle it. I always refer to to that kind of energy, to a as that single mom energy, whether they're a single mother or not, that single mom energy of just like, No, I've got this handled, you know, like, whatever is going to happen, I'm going to handle it and take care of it. And then that's an amazing energy. But then what happens if, when you stay in that energy too long, and that fear that if, if I let that down, let that go and step into that feminine step into that being that you described, the tiniest little bit, boom, that facade that you talk about there cracks and crumbles and explodes and is gone. And my the whole light goes away, right? And what I love that you teach and help people with is that this is actually building up that strength you already have. It's actually supporting that. And that other phrase that that you talked about the other day when we had a conversation that it was so fascinating was this feeling you've had it. You mentioned your clients have it, this feeling of exhaustion from keeping all this stuff together. But it's not in the doing. It's not the thing. It's not their high achieving career, their business, they're putting it together. They can do that in their sleep. That's not what's got them tired. It's the every thingness that's going can you speak to

Patricia Lindner:14:16

that? I love the word, the everythingness. So that could be the new word, and that that is so true. Just throughout what you just said and what you talked about, I thought about myself and about the experiences I made, and this needing to do everything. It's not that I got tired of my former career of working as a teacher's coach in a really high position. It was not this fact. It was not the career that just led me to some body issues. It was the everythingness and I. Really love that it was that I needed to take care of the kids. I needed to take care of the house partner, planning this, organizing this. And the most important part, and the saddest part of all of that, is people around me, and I guess that is for lots and lots of women, maybe even men. Everyone thought, Oh, she's super woman. She can do that. She wants to do that, I can't take that away from her. And what really drove me crazy and made me really feel a bit like really depressed is whenever I said I would love to really have some help. I need some help. I would love to let go of something than it was like being in this vacuum bubble like no one can hear that. It's like me being so alone in this state, and everybody sees me as the high achiever, as the one that can organize, do and be everything and everyone for everyone. So, yeah, so that was really horrible. That was really horrible.

Jason Croft:16:19

Yeah, I can imagine that that, that feeling, as you just described, it resonates with so many women, too, and there's, it's such an important lesson on the for the women, for the men, both, because I think what happens too, is that, for whatever reason, maybe there's a tendency there to have that energy, hey, I'm, I'm going to take care of, going to handle it. And again, we can play in this, you know, male female aspect, maybe as the difference in terminology from masculine, feminine and that male female, the traditional role that that we've heard about a lot, you know, on a female side, is like, I need things taken care of. I need to feel that sense of security. That doesn't mean I need someone to do it for me. I need to have that sense. And if you're not going to give it to me, I'm going to create it. And so the second there's a tiny piece of, Oh, this guy or this person in my life isn't going to give me that security, the tiniest little bit, okay, then I'm gonna, I'm gonna handle it, and then, then that's a cascade, because she handles it, and then the man goes, Oh, she's got it. Oh, she's amazing at it. Oh, this. And you just more and more and more that way. So then resentment builds, because I have to do this or it's not going to get done, even though she's not asking anymore. She's way past that and so that that's on both sides where maybe you can, you can stop things and go, oh, I need to communicate this. Allow that help. But that is the piece. I mean. How do you help women who are in that spot having that feeling that you you had of, okay, I'm saying the words. I need help. Why doesn't anyone? Because it sounds like a bad dream, right? Like no one's hearing my words. How do you how do you get them to you know, not say it louder, but but communicate that in a way that people can can finally hear that. Yeah,

Patricia Lindner:18:47

I think it's not about the words someone says. It's about the energy they radiate. It's about what they Yeah, what they spread with, who they embody, and that is ingrained in their cells. Maybe that sounds a bit weird what I say now, because most of the time in my case, I know it definitely it goes back to childhood memories, to childhood conditioning, and maybe we think we are this or that way, and we forget that this burden, this behavior, this anything, is not really ours. It's just something that we learned or that we needed to embody, because it was a situation in the family, and what part of the solution? And that's not everything, but part of the solution is really realizing, Oh, I have been doing that all my life, going back to this child, and that doesn't mean I just work with them in their past and we talk. Walk that through. That's not my approach, but just realizing and acknowledging, oh, that's not who I need to be. I need to just shift the energy around that. That is what I learned in my early days, and that's why I just function like that, why I am perceived like that because I have been doing that all my life, maybe 3040, 50 or 60 years, and I think this acknowledgement is the first step, and then we just let go of all those stories, conditionings, imprints in their system, in their energetic space, which makes them like, feeling like reborn. And so the communication changes, and they are heard for who they are, and they can delegate, and they can start really looking after themselves without and this is a very important thing without feeling ashamed or feeling guilty. That was a big one for me, without being or feeling guilty, because that is what often keeps us, men or women, from changing something, because there is this guilt aspect. And yeah, I'm happy that one can change that, no matter if men or women, that's that's something that's really doable. Yeah,

Jason Croft:21:35

I want folks to hear and take this into both sides of this that, especially for the the doers out there, way into their masculine energy. Okay, tell me what to do to fix this right, and to really stop and let that in, that it, it really is that pervasive. Energy, that entire energy, like pulling that first, because you it doesn't matter the do and the say and if, if you don't, come at it from this cleared energy that you just described. So that is critical and foundational. And then on the other side, then from that place, depending on their circumstance and what they're needing, you can guide them to say, Okay, now very specifically, ask this person for help in this one area, this way, and let go of it. Ask this person specifically to do this thing, and what they'll find is that it's it's finally getting heard, it's finally they're acting on it. And then there's, you know, they have to go through those lessons of fully letting that go, and you know, that back and forth. So I just want to make sure people are hearing and feeling both sides of

Patricia Lindner:23:04

that. What just came to me, and that is so true, the approach that I take people through is not we do the work, it is making them so much fall in love with who they really are. It's like the love story approach. That is what I just had on my mind, it is really something that makes them feel calmer, more joyful, more balanced, even though they might not believe it right now. And I need to say that, because oftentimes when we talk about energy and energetic principles. People feel like, Oh, she's doing the woo stuff. That's like dancing around the fireplace and singing Hallelujah. That's not what I do. It's really proven. It's grounded, but it's energetic work. And I just wanted to encourage people to open up their minds, to let that thought, or this glimpse of a thought in so that there could be a seed to change their whole being and to feel more relaxed and balanced and whole.

Jason Croft:24:17

Yeah, I think it's really important topic. I think it's a good spot to to wrap things up, because that is, it's a big one to let in. And I hope people out there have heard, oh, that's, maybe that's what's going on for me. And just an awareness like you mentioned, you know, awareness of your past, just an awareness of what is going on can bring so much relief and reduce that anxiety level a little bit. So I love this topic. I think it's been this is great. So

Patricia Lindner:24:54

great that you were with me during this episode and that we. Have those beautiful conversations, Jason, I thank you so much, and I thank you the listener or the one who is watching our episode for sticking to that and staying with us. Hope to see you in another episode. Bye for now.

Jason Croft:25:18

Thank you for joining us for another episode of magnificence, remember, your path to success isn't about discovering something new. It's about revealing the power you already possess if you're ready to take the next step in uncovering your own magnificence. Schedule an illumination call at Patricia lindner.com make sure to subscribe to the show and join us next time as we continue exploring practical ways to unlock your natural brilliance, until then, trust that your magnificence is already within you, ready to shine through you.